MAYBE I'm just not in the mood to blog these days.  It's been ages I know.  I wonder is social media sucking my creative urge by being so damn available all the time.   I even googled some meme's online to see if I could find something to draw me in.  But they are all so very much the same and rather dull - they failed to entice.   

I wonder as you get older do you find it harder to be excited about things.  I can't remember the last time I was really truly excited - well I can I guess - but it was was soooo very long ago and I haven't been able to get so excited since.  I want to be excited about something.  I love being excited for someone else about something, and it's such a disappointment to me if they don't express the same engagement.  

Nowadays when I try to plan something that 10 years ago I would have been keenly anticipating, all I see is the hassle involved and why would I bother really.   Am I turning into my parents already...  When I think of going home this year I do get a bit excited but then along comes the big wet rag of how I can afford it, what time I can take off, how much holidays I have, and how else I should probably be spending or investing the cost.   I used to be so much easier about this sort of stuff.

Speaking of stuff, that's another hassle.  I have too much of it.  Simply WAY too much.   I look at my (not exactly huge) collection of about 200 CD's that I have bought over the years yet not reached for a single one in the last 5.  Books everywhere - good books, boring books, books I've started but never finished, books I never should have got in the first place.  Just there.  On the shelf. In the cupboard.  There because I've accumulated it.  There because I feel bad if I threw it away.  There because I never got off my arse to bring it some secondhand bookshop and sold it on or given it away.  

It's for this reason that I think I never got round to buying an iPad.  It's fun and nicely designed and compellingly tactile, and I love that in a gadget.   But what would I need it for?  I have my computer, I have my iPhone.  It's just more STUFF.   

Show me the iPad 10 or even 5 years ago and it would have been procured on the day of launch.  No further analysis required.  Why?  Because I would have been excited about it long before I got my hands on it.   And that just doesn't seem to happen anymore...