Meus Parem Locus

"I didn't look at them - honestly"

About a week ago I found an old disposable camera in a drawer in my desk at work.  I knew it was there - I just didn't bother with it for ages.  Believing it to be a camera from an old sales conference a few years back, I asked my assistant to bring it to the camera shop for development while she was going there for other things (you know where this is going I'm sure)....  Anyhoo, I forgot all about it until I was rushing out the door on Thursday evening to catch a flight to Melbourne that night.  As the lift door opened and I dashed out, there she was with boxes of her printing coming back in.

"I picked up your photos - erm - I don't think they are from a conference - I think they're personal - I just had a quick glance - I didn't look at them!!!" she blurts out as she hastily stuffs them into my hands and gets into the lift. 
"Sorry - honestly I didn't look at them" she says with a red face and pushing the button the close the door.  "See you next week" I hear as the door closes. 

With a sense of impending doom I open the photo wallet to see what horrors lay within.  Photo's of myself and Jason in various places - I think on a weekend trip to Coffs Harbour some years ago - in various "states of undress" greeted me.  My face must have looked like a hydroponic tomato as I realised that even if she had not looked at every one of them, she certainly would have got the concepts from the stupid thumbnail index photo at the very front...  I sheepishly left the building post haste cursing my stupidity. 
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The gluten-free diet continues to produce results (or not produce migraines anyway) and I am now on day 7 without a flinch.   I can still eat wheat (like the pizza I had last night after I cam home from a hectic day of meetings in Melbourne) but just not in any great quantities.   Happy days for me indeed...
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Yes it's Eurovision weekend and whilst sitting and eating my pizza last night, I had a look a the first semi-final which was only screened in Australia last night (though it took place on Tuesday).   I was appalled at the Irish entry (Dustin the Turkey) when it was chosen for our national entry, and delighted to see the nonsense did not get through to the final.   The humour was lost on everyone except the Irish, half of the lyrics were unintelligible and the whole thing was rubbish.  The best thing you could say about it was that the set was impressive - but that was thanks to the Serbian TV production team.  I can face the final (Sunday night SBS)  with relief I won't be seeing that again...
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13 days to go before I am on that plane back to Europe...
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I love this - the new Irish PM looks like setting an interesting precedent for the future...Irish Times Thursday May 22, 2008

THE TAOISEACH (PM), Brian Cowen, has expressed regret for any offence caused by his use of an expletive that was inadvertently picked up by broadcast microphones in the Dáil (Irish Parliament).

A spokesman for the Taoiseach strongly denied the comments referring to "those f*ckers" were directed at Fine Gael or at any other members of the Opposition.

Me? Narky?

An incorrect address was texted to me for a party last night, which left me stranded in the inner burbs of Rozelle with a six-pack (of beer) and look of confusion on my face.  A phone call to the the inviters caused much kerfuffle and mirth until it was realised that I was actually at an old address from some 3 years ago.  Not knowing where I was or how to get to the right place (not to mention the $25 it took me to get there in a cab) meant I was a tad frustrated when calling for assistance.  "Don't be so narky!" was shrilled at me over the phone when I expressed the slightest annoyance at the issue (and I mean slight - like "it's going to take me a while to get another cab from here").   

Eventually flagging down another cab I made my way to the correct address in another suburb (another $15) to be lost again in a sprawling waterside complex with christian-type onlookers.   Two more phone calls and i made the destination - a little pissed off but trying to project good cheer and get over myself.  Not helped by further comments like "grumpy Kev" and "why do you think I'd still be living there".    Quite proud of myself - I maintained my forced smile and drifted into the background (where I find myself most comfortable in these situations), drank my beer, smoked too many other people's cigarettes and spoke of French things to a French couple.    That cheered the night :-)

Recently I have been realising the different scene "worlds" that exist around me.   The vast majority of my social circle are down-to-earth, practical, dare I say it "more masculine types" that are unconcerned with celebrity gossip, fashion, how you look, what brand of clothes you wear or what type of beer you drink.  We hang out in the same kind of places, know that we're accepted and don't put expectations on each other.  I exist easily and happily within it.   

Touching on some of the other "worlds" tends to remind me why I don't play in that space anymore (or at least, try to play because I am concerned at what others may "think").  Don't get me wrong - I love the diversity that is out there and am happy to dabble when the opportunity arises but I also admit I will avoid the opportunities unless somewhat compelled to comply.  I have friends from all different "spaces" and love and respect them each for their own qualities.  Is this making any sense?   Maybe I'm talking bollocks but it fits for me....  I know where I am comfortable and where I am not.   I sometimes take such comfort from the poetry of Donald Rumsfeld....  I leave you some inspiring and prosaic words... :-)

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know

Uncle sleepwalks

A $397 parking fine has not dulled the excitement of becoming an uncle for first time this week!  Young Conor Donegan was born on the morning of April 29 in Barcelona to my brother and his wife.  A surprise phone call, that I debated answering (number blocked, me half asleep coming home from work on the train) that had the greeting "Hello Uncle!" from my exhausted brother set a smile on my face for the remainder of the week.   Some photos came through on Friday - I've added them to my album link on the right :-)    Only 25 days to go before I see him in person - any doubts about excitement for the journey are swept away!

So the $397 fine....   A few weeks ago (in the space of one week) I received TWO fines for the first ime in my life.  One was for failing to produce my weekly train ticket for the jobsworthy ticket inspectors (as per a previous post) that I managed to have retracted, as I could prove that I did actually have a ticket (left it at home) with a faxed photocopy.   The other was for parking in a disable parking spot at Rose Bay.   Now let me tell you - I would NEVER knowingly park in a disabled parking space - and the fact that I did highlights the inadequate signage placed in the car park.  Not to mention the ground covered in dead leaves and twigs from the massive trees on either side of the space.  If I was disabled I certainly wouldn't want to park there as the space is so squashed you could hardly clamber out of the car, never mind dealing with mobility issues. 

And everything else is getting so bloody expensive lately!  My strata fees up 33% for the next year because the building needs painting, credit card interest fees, water bills, petrol, food blah blah blah.  I'm starting to have my own credit crisis.  The credit card has been removed from the wallet...

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Last night, after coming home from the pub with Jason fairly hammered, I had another one of my sleepwalking events.  The first time - a few years back - I managed to tip a glass of cordial on top of my laptop and get back to bed without thinking about it until the memory returned the next morning (needless to say the computer was fried, but I luckily (a) didn't start a fire, and (b) rescued the hard drive).   This time I woke up this morning, walked into the living room and saw a coverless cushion on the couch.  On the floor by the kitchen was the cover.  What the...? Then it came back to me that I remembered waking up (sort of) on the couch and going back to bed (this was after we had gone to bed in the first place - about 1am).   I have no memory of cushion derobing so that must have happened before.   What the hell is that about?    A bit scary :-(

¡Un poco loco!

What a week it has been!  The rain came tumbling down for most of it but that didn't stop me from spending the last 7 nights out and generally imbibing alcohol in various forms (I mean different types of drinks, although a jelly shot did get involved at one stage).   It has also been a very busy time in work, where for the first time since I have started at the company I can honestly say I am enjoying my time there.  Busy yes, but good-busy, and feeling like I'm part of something.  After 2 years of f*cking around not knowing what I was supposed to be doing with no management or support, it seems I've come to the end of that tunnel. 
♖

The holiday is only 5 weeks away now, and I am finally starting to feel some excitement about it.  I don't know why but I have been completely unable to get myself into the holiday mood.  Maybe it's because I'm still unsure of where we will be staying in London or something.  Or maybe I'm just thinking of how much it's costing!   But to hell with that....
♘

Am I a freak? That's the question I have been asking myself this last week.  When everyone else is moaning about the gloomy weather, the "freezing" temperature (hardly) and the constant threat or delivery of rain, I revel in the autumnal glory.   Seeing the yellow, red and brown leaves on the ground brings a sense pf warmth, security and inner glow that is indescribable.  The trees are half bare and people walk around coats and (premature) scarves.   My artistic eye (just the one, dear) comes out to enjoy the scenes from a stereotypical seasonal calendar.  Jason expresses concern that I appear to like decay and death in the nature around me, but I disagree.  It goes back to my childhood, although why I have no idea.  Autumn in Ireland was a hell of a lot colder, wetter and darker than here.   
♗

I sit here with my Spanish books in front of me.  My sister-in-law is heavily pregnant with child, and I have been trying to converse with her online in Spanish (she is Catalan from Barcelona).   I am daunted by the challenge (my last missive was typed after a few glasses of red) and even drove into the office this morning to pick up my Spanish Grammar - Easy Learning book to pull it together.  I need to pull myself together now to make it happen.    ¡Madre de Dios! ¡Yo soy un poco loco esta mañana!
☼

Yesterday, myself and Jase celebrated 3 happy years together.  A quiet affair (we were both worn out after the week)- we had a wonderful dinner (fab pork, apple & sage sausages with pepper creamed potatoes and vegies) with candles and music at home, while listening to the rain hammering outside on the balcony.  It was wonderful.  Here's to many more :O)

Just tax the STUPID people!

Ireland has a new Taoiseach (pronounced tee-shock - our name for the Prime Minister role).  Biffo (Big-Ignorant-F*cker-From-Offaly) Cowen, officially known as Brian Cowen, will take the reins from our corrupt leader after 11 years in office.   I don't know - either corruption has become more frequent in recent years or the media have become more diligent at seeking and exposing it.   In Ireland's case, no amount of indignant or incredulous huffing and puffing in the papers, on the radio or at the family dinner table seems to make a blind bit of difference to the outcome of a general election or lemming-like allegiance to a favoured political party.

“The accomplice to the crime of corruption is frequently our own indifference”.   

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So anyway, I did my exam on Monday this week.  80 questions, multiple choice, open book.  Not too challenging you may ponder... and it wasn't.... but not to be underestimated either.  I needed every minute of the 2.30hrs alloted to finish it with any degree of confidence.   As a result of waiting for the results, I have not signed up for the following module, and find myself somewhat at a loose end this weekend, with no omnipresent studying guilt lurking over my shoulder.   

I should be able to make a start on some of the other million things I need to focus on.  I should but I'm not.   Hungover from a big night last night I find myself happy to read papers, type my blog and generally fart around.  Even the plan to get the car washed for a few advertisement photos (yes - I'm selling it - I never use the bloody thing) seems horrendously daunting.   How I got myself up and washed and down to meet my dear friend John for breakfast at the overrated Bitton ($30 EACH) I do not know - even the memory tires me :)

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RANT: There are certain things that should not be tolerated and no amount of insanity, poor upbringing or drug/drunkeness can excuse.   Lighting bushfires, throwing rocks at cars and buses (seems to have become a favoured pastime of unruly teenage suburban shitheads of late) but the latest mind-numbingly f*cking stupid thing is pointing powerful lasers at approaching civil aircraft.   It seems to have happened quite a bit over the last few months in NSW, and the pilots and authorities are helpless to do anything about it when it happens.  Some dickhead with a powerful laser pointing up from bushland or their bedroom window is not an easy thing to locate, even less to prosecute successfully.   

In their usual wisdom, the Macquarie St clown show rub their temples and mumble things like "review penalties" and "banning private sale/use/importation of such devices", then scurry off for another Building Developer function to bump up their election funding in exchange for signing new releases for their mates. 

There IS no excuse for this sort of behaviour and this is where I get very right wing and think no end of fines, community service or "rehabilitation" is going to deter these idiots.   Either set up a gulag in the middle of the Great Sandy Desert and throw them in there, or off with their heads.    We don't need people like that in Australia, nor would anyone else want them.  Of course - another solution may be as the immortal words of Edina Monsoon (AbFab) stated "Why not just put a tax on the STUPID people" - wouldn't that be an interesting thought?

J'accuse! Mr D with the Dagger in the Station

It was not a good morning, last Thursday.   Oh it started off quite well - the way they do - lull you into that false sense of benign end-of-weekiness but at some stage the dagger will fall.  And fall it did.

It started with a pleasant enough trundle to work, feeling myself lucky for scoring not only a Millennium train (with very lovely air conditioning) but also a seat all to myself on a sunny balmy morning that Autumn in Sydney does so very well.   And, as is my wont, whilst sitting there feeling capital about my station this morning, I of course had to think of things that have been rather unlucky of late to balance the mood. 

Tsk, that pesky parking fine that was stuck to my windscreen when trizzing home from Jason's rugby practice last weekend - the fine that I only saw while gunning up to 70 down South Dowling Street - the one that then blew off my windscreen into the green flora to the left kerb.   Yes, yes.  THAT was unlucky.  Won't be so careless in future. 

Having changed trains a Wynyard (is it just me or does this place look brighter or fresher or something?  Is that a new coat of paint?) we trundled into North Sydney station and I was in pole position at the BEST door of the train - ready to launch myself towards the lovely shiny new escalators only 3 metres away before the general peasantry erupted. Speeding up those steps, I recall the stilted voxbox Cityrail announcer saying something about tickets being checked.  Tee Hee, I thought, we'll see some red faces this morning, as I knowingly reached into my wallet to remove my weekly.

It wasn't there.   What what!  But... where... what?  The cold dread came from the gut to the heart quicker than you can say "feeling capital" as I realised I had placed the ticket in my shirt pocket the day before (and this is even worse - I NEVER wear shirts with pockets - it is tasteless) - the ONE DAY I wear that shirt in un lune bleue.

Tail between my legs I approach the train security man (who had already spotted the ticketless symptoms), mumbling about my stupidity and I always buy a weekly and I can't believe this has happened...  He listens, empathises, agrees it's madness, and rips me off a $200 fine notice.  He mentions the appeal process (and hints a photocopy of my ticket plus fine faxed to the debt recovery office may get me off, but don't hold your breath (although I wish he held his - it was like gas from a bilge pump)).    I grump off (the only red face of the morning, it would seem) to get a little fruit salad for breakfast.   Oh irony, how you are a fickle beast.

Starving now, so I quickly grab my little fruit cocktail and put off a coffee until later.  Slumping at my desk after the obligatory & awkward packed-lift chat (no, you don't care what I'm up to this weekend - just because we're forced to be so uncomfortably close that I can see your eyeshadow clots doesn't mean we need to breathe words on each other) I open my  fruit cocktail to see I am not the first to enjoy it. Mr & Mrs Beetle seem to enjoying degustation this morning.   

Torn between indignant rage and disgust, I fling the container in the bin (breaking the recycling code - oh I was on a rebellious ROLL I tell you) and stomp up to the kitchen (euphemistically  labelled Level 6 café) to make myself a cup of tea and flick through the papers absentmindedly.  I made the tea somewhat absentmindedly too, as on return to my desk my first sip was spat out in horror.  I looked into the cup to see globs of curdled milk swimming around in the cup.   

I look up as a door opens down the corridor and a head sticks out. "Aren't you coming to this meeting?"
Shit.  What meeting?
"Yes - er - do I need anything?"
"I sent you the CV yesterday. I needed you to look at it first. We're interviewing in 5 minutes so you better be ready.  And put a tie on"

Wow-wow-wow-wow! ARGH!

Creativity is not encouraged at this time.   Working feverishly to complete my assignment before the Feb 26th deadline, my head is filled with numbers and factoids relating to financial markets, regulations and policy statements, and investment portfolio strategies.  It's a hard topic to get excited about, and it reminds me all too well of dragging my arse through my Commerce degree over 10 years ago.   I avoided studying like the plague only to panic in the last few days prior to the exam and crammed my tits off.  Getting up at 4am on the morning of the exam to work intensely on neglected topics.    What do you know? It worked (mostly).   But a practice and experience that I was generally happy to consign to history - OK I have the piece of paper now so give me a job.   

On top of all that, the latest Kylie song just will not give my head peace.  It's catchy in a viral way - I only have to hear a nearby person utter a syllable that vaguely resembles the sound of "wow" and it's on loop in my brain.  Why hasn't anyone invented a mute button for this?  On the plus side, I have finally booked my tickets to Europe for June. Hurrah hurrah!

Caught up with an old friend from the UK on Thursday night - when I first came to Australia in 1999 we both started working as temps in AMP at the same time.    My extraordinary inferiority complex of the time was diminished so much by this outgoing, cheeky, confident and accepting soul.   And when we caught up, I was so happy  not to feel like that anymore.   

A humid bathroom with discarded umbrellas...

The rain comes down and I do not complain.  I rather like the rain here for many little reasons, but mostly because it generates a feeling of calmness and security.  It must be something to do with growing up in Ireland (quelle surprise) but also perhaps my general aversion to the sun and excessive heat.   What am I doing in Sydney? Sometimes I wonder.

In a shameless rip from The Banal Chew, I have answered the below questions with my own responses, as these little personal quizzes have always compelled me.   They can be fun, and therapeutic for haphazard hungover minds.   

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? I think an old cap
2. When was the last time you threw up? Umm think late 2004
3. What's your favourite curse word? Shite
4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? Jason, the waitress in the cafe, Annabel Crabb
5. What were you doing at 8 a.m. this morning? Considering the logistics of getting up and having some water and panadol
6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Reading the SMH
7. Where were you born? Dublin, Ireland
8. Have you ever been to a strip club? No
9. What is the last thing you said aloud?  "Bollocks!"  (I spilled water all down my shirt)
10. What is the best ice cream flavor?  I tend to go traditional rum & raisin
11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Flat white and water
12. What are you wearing right now? Crummy shorts and old tshirt
13. What was the last thing you ate? Oops! Bacon & egg brekkie
14. Have you bought any new clothes this week? No
15. Where were you last? Reading the paper in the living room
16. What's the last sporting event you watched? Australian Open
17. Who won? Not over yet
18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on Facebook? Dean
    
19. Ever go camping? Yes, many years ago, and have little desire to go again
20. Where do you live? Sydney, Australia
    
21. What song are you listening to? Don't stand so close to me, The Police
22. Do you have a tan? I like to think so on my arms
23. Do you drink your soda from a straw? I don't drink "soda".  But i occasionally use a straw for drinks, yes...
24. What did your last text message say? "Aw OK. Tee hee you must have had a few :-) see u in morn x"
25. Who's your best friends? More important, who's my second best friend?
26. What are you doing tomorrow? Nothing really planned at this stage.
27. Where is your mom right now? I hope asleep peacefully in her bed in Ireland
28. Look to your right, what do you see? Rain gently pattering on the leaves of the tree outside the window
29. What colour is your watch? One brown and silver, the other all silver
30. What do you think of when you think of Australia? Sun, youth, vibrancy, beach, hope
31. Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Yes but it was a crap Funderland one
32. What is your birthstone? There are a few, but I think "Beryl" suits me best!
33. Do you go in at a fast-food place or just hit the drive through? Go inside. Drive through always bugger up the order
34. What is your favourite number? Hmmm... I'm not sure any win greater affection than another
    
35. Do you have a dog? No.  Would like one in future though
36. Last person you talked to on the phone? Jason, talking shite at midnight from the pub
37. Have you met anyone famous? President of Ireland?, Robbie Williams
38. Any plans today? I really REALLY should study
39. How many countries have you lived in? Ireland and Australia
40. Ever go to college? Yes
41. Where are you right now? In the office/spare room/creative media space/laundry drying/second bedroom
42. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? my ill defined thankless job
43. Are you in love with someone right now? Yes very much so....
44. Are you allergic to anything? Apparently a mild allergy to dust.   And I do dislike it!
45. Favourite pair of shoes? tan loafers.
46. Are you jealous of anyone? Not especially.   I have envied others qualities where I lack them
47. Is anyone jealous of you? I really don't think so!
48. Do any of your friends have children? Yes
49. Do you eat healthy? No.  There's just no other way to say it
50. What do you usually do during the day? Work during week, then bum around at weekends
51. Do you hate anyone right now?  No.
52. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? I think so
53. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?  34
    
54. Have you ever been to Six Flags? What on earth is this
55. How did you get one of your scars (if you have any)? From removing a tumour on my brain!